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CONNECTING KIDS AND A CANCER CHARITY

Anyone who has ever worked with kids knows that cancer touches so many young lives. Some childhood cancers have a great cure rate. Others, not so much.

By the time most kids reach middle school, they will know someone who has cancer, and chances are good, it will be a peer.

That’s why getting kids involved in cancer charities is a good idea on many levels. First, it sends the message to kids that the community is willing to join together to save kids. Second, it tells kids that by joining a cause, they can make a difference as part of the community. But thirdly, and most importantly, getting kids to participate in cancer charities tells them that should they ever be diagnosed with cancer, there will be people who care about them and who want to support them.

The Roswell Park Cancer Institute is hosting a “How Big Is Your Heart” dance in Western New York, inviting students in grades 5-8 to a big night of music, dancing, food, and fun in support of pediatric cancer research and support programs:

http://giving.roswellpark.org/page.aspx?pid=1125

Many cancer charities aim their events at the adults who have the cash. The big galas and wine tastings are geared to adult tastes and interests. Having this dance for middle school children brings them into the fold, and that’s such a smart thing to do. These children will take their experience at the dance and build on that. They are more likely to reach out and to participate in future events.

But you know what’s really smart? While the kids are having fun in the ballroom, parents can have a special meal at the restaurant. Now that’s a night a parent can appreciate!

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THE NURSES ARE SOME SISTERS WHO ROCK!

Liverpool may have given us the Beatles, but the Macmillan Cancer Center in London gave us The Nurses. This foursome is composed of Sharon, Andrea, Jo, and Gaynor, experienced head nurses who sing in between changing bandages and caring for patients.

There is something refreshing about four women who have dedicated themselves to caring for their patients and their families, who still find the joy and maybe more importantly, the hope, in the work they do. These women have seen a lot of life through some very intense experiences most people never know. Given the combined cardiac and midwifery experiences of all four, I guess you could say these nurses can really deliver a song with a lot of heart….

Music is such a powerful healing tool. Whether it’s rock and roll, classic jazz, old standards, doo-wa-diddy,or even a soulful ballad, we love music, all kinds of music. It’s the heart of the Party of Life. Can’t dance without music. Music gets our engines started — our feet tap, our fingers snap, and we start moving to the beat. The fact they have chosen the Macmillan Cancer Center as the charity to benefit from their efforts sends it over the top.

Singing nurses? Best of both worlds, really. They’re ready to cure what ails you, inside and out. You’ve got to love that!

If you want to learn more about The Nurses, check out their website:
http://www.thenursesofficial.com/home.htm

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STOWE WEEKEND OF HOPE — CANCER SURVIVORS’ “CELEBRATION CENTRAL”!

What are you doing April 29th this year? Why not join with other cancer survivors and get yourself to Stowe, Vermont for a weekend that inspires, educates, and celebrates the fight against cancer? It’s the 11th annual Stowe Weekend of Hope:
http://www.stowehope.org/index.html

Imagine having the chance to network with such a large group. These are people in various stages of cancer treatment and survival. It’s a chance to learn, to have fun, but above all else, to embrace life.

What can you look forward to if you go? The town opens its arms and its hotel rooms to you and your family. Complimentary lodging for first-time attendees. Gatherings geared towards providing you with information on specific kinds of cancer. Social opportunities to schmooze with other families touched by cancer. Fun and food. The event is free, supported by corporate and foundation donations.

Registration begins on March 1, so think about it. Start imagining what it would be like to just be yourself for a weekend and be with people who know what you’re going through because they’re going through it, too. It’s a chance to meet some mighty interesting people and network about a disease that affects too many people.

You can connect with Stowe Weekend of Hope on Facebook and Twitter. If the long winter has taken its toll on your psyche, a trip to Vermont might just lift your spirits!

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CAN CANCER PATIENTS USE CREATIVITY TO HEAL?



My painting of The Reefs Resort, Bermuda

 Here’s a question for cancer patients — does your imagination affect how you see your cancer?

If so, can you use it in positive ways to improve your life and help you manage your cancer?

Artists train themselves in perspective, color, but more importantly, in the use of light.

If you look at some of the great artists, if you think about what you see, you realize that there is perspective of the subject painted, and color, too. But what usually stays with you most is the light. How does the sun fall on that field of snow, creating shadows? How does the moon affect the colors of the street cafe and the customers? Where does that apple get the gleam upon its colorful skin?

Light is often a mysterious, yet fascinating element. It directs our attention, and without it, we are left in the dark.

Where you focus your attention during cancer matters. If you see only darkness, you will miss the joy. If you only feel the loss that cancer brings to your life, you will never know the richness of the experience. You won’t see the love, the support, or the opportunities you still have, if all you see is a lack of future to come.

Living with cancer is all about understanding that you may not have another ten years, but neither may anyone else. It’s important to live for today and tomorrow and next week and next month. It’s important to get treated and to live as well as you can. If you embrace life with the same passion as an artist, you will create the moments that you can build upon. Make what you have matter more than what you don’t have. Find the beauty here and now and appreciate how it enriches your life. Gather these together, because they are precious. These are your pearls. Wear them in better health.

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WHAT CAN CANCER PATIENTS CAN LEARN FROM HEART PATIENTS?

When my mother was diagnosed with heart disease, she learned she had to manage her illness. The damage to her heart was real, and even though some was reversed through treatment, she had to accept that her heart was going to be vulnerable from that point on. It never occurred to her that, short of a heart transplant, she could be cured. Her outlook was tempered by that reality.

A lot of cancer patients feel that anything less than a cure is a failure. While the ideal is to find a cure, sometimes learning to accept what cancer is and finding ways to manage it means you maximize your potential, instead of surrendering it to the power cancer has over you. You break through the fear and frustration of cancer and seek ways to live, so that your life has meaning.

Heart patients know that they have to pay attention to the signs their bodies exhibit, in order to get treatment when problems arise. Cancer is a disease that benefits from this approach. When you notice something is different, get it checked out. Don’t assume that a potentially new cancer means that your time is up. Some cancer patients take a fatalistic view of their cancer and assume the worst. But I’ve met many people who lived years with cancers popping up in different parts of their bodies, even Stage 4 patients. The secret is to manage the symptoms as they show up, without waiting, without hesitating. If you thought you had a blockage in an artery, you’d get it treated, wouldn’t you? Your cardiologist might order a stent or a bypass, to help the heart function better. Going to your oncologist to see what solutions are available when there is a problem is a smart thing to do. You’re looking for ways to survive the cancer.

Heart patients also know that lifestyle changes can often improve their survival rate. When they avoid harmful behavior, they help themselves to prevent new damage. Diet and exercise are critical in managing heart disease, but they can also help cancer patients. I say that as someone who sees some of the patients from the cancer center working out at my gym. One of the women, who was going through chemotherapy more than a year ago, is showing up regularly and looking healthy. Her hair has grown back and she’s hitting the exercise machines with some gusto. If you have the energy and your doctor’s approval, this is a great thing to do. Even getting out for regular walks can improve your mood and relieve stress.

Managing the stress of heart disease helps patients stay in the game of life because it reduces the wear and tear on the body. Cancer patients can also benefit from this. When you lie awake at night, fretting over your fate, that tension builds up in your body. It effects your blood pressure, your immune system, and your attitude. The more you can manage your stress, the better your outlook will be.

Stress is a very big part of cancer. It’s hard not to think about what is happening inside your body, to imagine the worst. Having healthy ways to take control of that stress is important for cancer patients. Stress can eat away at your resources and cut into your ability to manage your cancer.

Understanding your cancer and its effects is important. It’s also important to remember that sometimes cancer takes years before it shows up in tests. Not all cancers are aggressive. But even when they are, there are new treatments that can help you manage the disease, to give you time.
Time is the friend of cancer patients. With it, there is always hope for a better tomorrow.

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KIDS, CANCER AND SUMMER CAMP (ADULTS, TOO!)

It’s never too early for parents to start thinking about their kids and what they will be doing in summer. But if you’re a parent of a child with cancer, you know planning for the coming months isn’t an easy task. Where will your child be six months from now?

And what about adults with cancer? Do they have any options for summer fun?

There are many great organizations that offer camping experiences for kids and adults with cancer.

Hole-in-the-Wall Gang Camp is a wonderful place for kids with cancer and other serious illnesses ages 7-15. And they also offer family weekends for the cancer patient, siblings, and parents:
http://www.holeinthewallgang.org/page.aspx?pid=471

If you want a great list of cancer resources for kids, created by parents, try Pediatric Oncology Resources Center:
http://www.acor.org/ped-onc/index.html

They also have a very thorough list of cancer kids camps across the country:
http://www.acor.org/ped-onc/cfissues/camps.html

There are even day camps for kids with cancer, including Sunrise Day Camp, that works with children 3-16 during the day, but the children sleep at home:
http://www.sunrisedaycamp.org/

What is nice about some of these camps is they allow siblings to join cancer patients. That can be a nice bonding experience for the family.

Just don’t forget your other kids when you’re caught up in the cancer treatment puzzle. Sometimes it’s helpful to give them a break from the worry and wear of having a cancer patient in the family. If your other children have an interest in horseback riding or outdoor sports, consider giving them a little break for a week or two. They will come home with new energy and enthusiasm.

But what about adults with cancer? If you are a parent with cancer, or caring for a spouse with cancer, consider the benefits of sending the kids to summer camp, especially if there’s no chance you’ll be taking a “real vacation” this year. Many times when a loved one is in treatment, plans are put on hold because the physical limitations of the disease prevent the whole family from enjoying a trip. But also consider taking advantage of some of the offerings for families with a loved one.

The American Society of Clinical Oncology created a resource list for cancer patients and their families. Whether you want to go on a retreat or get together with the family, there are places you can go to have fun with people who understand what you are going through:
http://www.cancer.net/portal/site/patient/menuitem.169f5d85214941ccfd748f68ee37a01d/?vgnextoid=22f241eca8daa010VgnVCM100000ed730ad1RCRD

Whatever you do, don’t let cancer stop you from having some fun. Get out there and put a smile on your face. You deserve it!

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THE POWER OF A NAP

I’ve met cancer patients who have felt like they were weak if they gave in to the effects of chemotherapy and took a nap. They would have their treatments and spend the next several days fighting the effects of the drugs coursing through their veins. My mother probably fought harder than anyone on this subject. The fatigue made her feel weak and submissive, not only to the cancer, but also to the side effects of cancer treatment. It was frustrating for her, until she learned some very important secrets about chemotherapy from some experienced cancer patients.

Many had multiple courses of cancer treatment and managed the disease several over years. These were my mentors in navigating the mysteries of cancer. These were the experienced veterans, battle-scarred, but knowledgeable about the secrets of surviving.

Almost every one of these patients swore by the power of a nap. In fact, many said that if they tried to fight the fatigue that often accompanies chemotherapy treatments, they wound up being even more exhausted. By accepting the reality of the effects of chemotherapy on the body, they were able to pull themselves back together sooner and get on with their lives.

Think about it. When you fight the fatigue, you are actually creating stress for your body. When you realize that it is not weakness on your part that causes the fatigue, but the medicine’s effects, you realize that you can actually conserve your energy by going with the flow. If you try to swim upstream, you’ll spend a lot of time fighting the currents. What will you have left when you’re done swimming?

One of the wisest veterans of cancer I met was a woman who had been Stage 4 for years. Her cancer had spread throughout her body, but every time it showed up, she would get treatment and go on with her life. And whenever she had chemotherapy, she would come home, put herself to bed when the fatigue hit, and her husband would take care of her until she was back on her feet. She understood that fighting fatigue wasn’t fighting the cancer. Living well was her goal, and she realized the importance of taking good care of herself.

Don’t be afraid to admit you need a nap now and then. Listen to your body and understand that when you take care of it, you have a better chance of managing your cancer and living longer. If you don’t believe me, ask some cancer veterans the next time you’re in for treatment. Not only can they give you some great advice, they will inspire you with their war stories and courage.

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WHY CANCER PATIENTS NEED TO EMBRACE THEIR INNER CHILD

Cancer is like that big, grumpy adult who sees everyone having fun and shuts down the party. One minute, we’re all having fun, hooting and hollering, and the next minute, we’re all miserable. Nothing puts a damper on life faster than cancer.

My mother always loved to go out and about, whether it was to the movies, a restaurant for a good meal, a picnic, or even just to people watch. She was the mother who took us to swim in creeks and brooks, the grandmother who would reach into a pond to retrieve a frog. Sitting on a lawn chair, feet in the lake on a fine day, was bliss for her. And when she got cancer, nothing was more heartbreaking for her than the thought that she would give all that up and stop having fun.

The truth is that fun is wonderful medicine for so many reasons. Cancer patients need the chance to kick cancer to the curb once in a while. Living with cancer is tough. Thinking about cancer means thinking about how cancer robs you of the good times. You have enough time to think about cancer when you have your check-ups or you go for radiation or chemo. That’s why embracing your inner child is a valuable tool in the fight against cancer.

Am I suggesting that you completely stop being an adult and just indulge every whim, every emotion, every moment of heartbreak that cancer has brought into your life? Heavens, no! I am suggesting that you take your inner child out to play on a regular basis. Go places as your energy allows. Follow your dreams. Indulge that urge to get out and explore the world. If you wait until your cancer is cured, the time may never come. The truth is people live longer with cancer now because it can be managed better. What is the point of managing your cancer if you don’t take that bull by the horns and use it to enrich your life? Laugh more. Hug more. Love more. Live more. Put a hat and coat on that inner child of yours and have some fun now. Don’t let that grumpy old adult spoil your life party.

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GORDON MURRAY’S TRIUMPH

Gordon Murray passed away on January 15, 2011, just days before his book on investing was due to come out in hardcover. The paperback version sold out in the fall of 2010. He had glioblastoma, an aggressive brain cancer. He was only 60 years old. But he left a legacy of which every cancer patient can be proud.

So often, cancer patients often feel defeated by their disease. Life isn’t fair, and cancer patients understand this more than most people. Cancer takes away so much of what matters, and then cancer treatment often takes almost all of the rest. But Gordon Murray wasn’t willing to accept this fate. He wanted his life to count for something. He wanted all those years he spent learning his trade to have meaning. He wanted to leave the world a better place than what it was and he wanted investors to avoid the pitfalls of a volatile market. He chose to create a legacy in spite of the cancer. Or was it the cancer that pushed him to create it?

What does Gordon Murray want the world to know? Most people invest haphazardly, taking far too many risks on unknowns — hot stocks and bonds without solid histories of performing, and they end up buying and selling at the wrong times. He believed that investors benefit from taking a simpler, more regimented approach. For decades, Gordon Murray had embraced an aggressive trading philosophy on Wall Street, but toward the end of his life, he chose a different approach for his own portfolio. Why is this important? Because he wanted to take care of his family in the best way he could, protect the assets he had spent decades accumulating, and how he made his investment decisions changed as a result.

When brain cancer first came to him in 2008, he understood his time might be short. A new tumor in 2010 brought home the reality of his terminal illness. He chose to use the time he had to share what he had learned about investing through the years, and he wanted people to know he had evolved his financial philosophy. He wanted people to understand that in an age of glitz and glamor, where what is popular and pretty seems like instant success and people rush to get a piece of the action. He believed there was a better way, and before he died, he wanted people to what it was.

But maybe even more important than the book, “The Investment Answer”, was the fact that writing it gave him purpose and mission. Every cancer patient needs to believe that his or her life still has meaning. Whether you paint, dig ditches, catch bad guys, write, build bridges, teach, run a business, solve diplomatic crises, or slay dragons, you need to believe that your life matters to someone. In believing that, you have the impetus to move forward, to focus on what is important, to make choices and decisions about what you want your legacy to be. Even if you live another twenty years or more, just getting pointed in that direction can be a transforming experience. All of us should “live like you are dying”. That way, when our time finally comes, and it will for all of us, we will have left a legacy of which we can be proud.

When you choose to do this, you get rid of the regrets and the anger. You focus on the positive and you move ahead, past the limitations of the cancer and its debilitating effects. You say, “This is what I want to do and cancer isn’t going to steal that from me.” When you succeed in reaching your goals, that’s a victory.

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WHY YOU CAN NEVER THANK AN ONCOLOGY NURSE ENOUGH

They are on the front lines of the cancer battle, the oncology nurses who dispense the chemotherapy drugs at cancer centers across the country. They are the women and men who see patients come and go over time, but never really have the chance to know what a difference they make in the lives of cancer patients everywhere.

I was at the grocery store the other day when I spotted a family face from the cancer center. My mom had ended treatment long ago, but suddenly there was one of the oncology nurses, pushing her carriage up and down the aisles. I had to stop her and thank her. I had to tell this woman, who sometimes treated my mother, that what she does matters. We both got a little choked up as I thanked her, and I told her she could never hear it enough.

Think about it. Oncology nurses deal with the cancer battle every day, just as the rest of the teams at cancer centers do. They see patients come and go. Sometimes patients are cured, and that’s the end of the contact. Often, patients return because cancer has spread. Always cheerful and supportive, always there to offer a kind word and to answer questions, oncology nurses are the people you count on to help you get through the rigors of chemotherapy. They’re a very special breed of nurses. Do they know how much their work is appreciated? Do they know what an important role they play in the lives of their patients?

My mother wasn’t cured of her cancer, but she gained much from cancer treatment. She got time to finish unfinished business, to make decisions and to choose what she wanted. Her youngest grandson was accepted at the college of his choice, and she lived to know that he would not only graduate, but do so with good grades. She had the chance to share that joy with him, to celebrate his monumental achievement. There were birthdays she attended as a result of her cancer treatment, and laughs shared, stories told, and memories made. She and my father even made it to their sixtieth anniversary because of her cancer treatment.

How easy it would be to think that cancer treatment didn’t cure her, to feel cheated or robbed. But the truth is that we packed a lot of living into those extra months, and it’s carried us through the loss. Had my mother been younger, she’d probably still be alive and kicking, still feisty and funny. Cancer was just the last straw on a big pile of health troubles. But because it was treated as well as it was, we had that extra time with her.

It must not be easy to put on your game face every day and see the numbers of people coming through the doors of the cancer center, to know that some will make it and some won’t. Oncology nurses keep on doing what they do, often without ever knowing what happens to the people who never return. They don’t always know about the little miracles they help to happen with their caring and their compassion. For all those nurses out there, who sometimes wonder if it’s all worth it, let me tell you the truth. Every time a family has the chance to make a new memory, it’s worth it. We may not have forever, but a little more time can make a big difference. Thank you.