Let me start by saying I’m not normally a fan of “Dancing with the Stars”. Frankly, I don’t particularly like watching folks trip their way across the stage in belly-button exposing outfits (male and female), shimmying unlike your sister Kate, with lots of hair extensions, makeup that’s been troweled onto faces (male and female), and a whole lot of attitude. Give me Ginger Rogers and Fred Astaire in an old Hollywood flick any day. And yet….
I heard Valerie Harper was going to be on. At first, I thought it was a mistake. Wasn’t she in the process of dying from terminal brain cancer? But then I heard it again. This woman was going to dance on the show.
Was it going to be sad? I considered what I had observed in other brain cancer patients. For some, balance was an issue. For others, changes in personality. And that wasn’t even including the fatigue factor….
The anticipation was killing me. Long a fan of both the old “Mary Tyler Moore Show” and “Rhoda”, I’ve always enjoyed Ms. Harper’s acting — her comedic timing is impeccable. Nobody delivers a line like she does. Ba-ding ba-dang!
Then someone mentioned her age. Seventy-four. Say what? Didn’t Cloris Leachman dance years ago on the same show? God love her, the fellow alumnus of “The Mary Tyler Moore Show” huffed and puffed her way through some very challenging dance moves, but in the end, the eighty-two-year-old didn’t have the finesse necessary. What could we possibly expect from Ms. Harper, a seventy-four-year-old brain cancer survivor?
Know what? Valerie Harper was amazing, especially compared to some of the other contestants. She knows how to move on the floor. Obviously, she’s had some experience and real training. When she got done with her foxtrot, I thought, “Isn’t it a shame that she gets that ‘cancer’ label?”
She should be applauded for dancing that well in her seventies. She should be applauded for dancing that well with brain cancer. But both? What a show-off! Okay, I’m kidding, but think about it. She was good no matter how way you look at her, as a cancer patient or not.
What does that say to cancer patients everywhere? It really is never over until the fat lady sings, and she was nowhere near Ms. Harper during her dance. Every day, patients are gaining ground when it comes to managing cancer over time. Sometimes it’s just a matter of staying the course, making it through the tough days. That’s why it’s so important that cancer patients maintain good nutritional intake, because cancer drugs can be so rough on the system, and losing too much weight or being unable to eat can turn the tide. In a published interview, Ms. Harper’s husband explained how she managed to continue her medication while appearing on the show. It’s all about knowing when the “up” time and “down” time is for cancer patients and scheduling activities around these.
I have no idea what will happen as the dancing series continues. From what I saw the other night, she seemed to be in the running, well ahead of some other folks. Pity vote? Hardly. She earned each one of those points. It had nothing to do with her cancer, or her age either. Sometimes people get to succeed without having that cancer label as a constant in-your-face reminder, and boy, are those moments sweet! Whatever the result, Ms. Harper is a winner in my book. She’s earned respect for being herself — likable, active, living in the moment with joy and determination. I wish her all the best for the future — sunny days, blue skies, and happy feet to carry her over the rough terrain that is cancer management. You go, girl!
For help with cancer caregiving, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides