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breast cancer cancer advice cancer caregiver caregiver education Stage 4 cancer Suzanne Whang

What Ever Happened to Suzanne Whang?

If you’re a “House Hunters” fan from its early days, you probably remember Suzanne Whang, the host. Attractive, with a liquid silk voice, she was the friendly face of house tour voyeurs like me. Who doesn’t love to have a peek at how the other half lives? Who doesn’t want to guess which house will be “the one”? Part showcase for real estate, part study in human relations, I’ve enjoyed watching the folks who go shopping for property and I often wondered why Suzanne Whang stopped appearing.

It turns out Ms. Whang has been battling Stage 4 breast cancer. And I do mean battling. This lady has come out swinging and she’s not planning to hold back her thoughts or emotions any time soon.

You may also know Suzanne from her other gigs, as a comedian and actor. She’s done a lot of things over time. With a B.A. in psychology from Yale and a Masters in Cognitive Psychology from Brown, Ms. Whang brings a little something to the table that most cancer patients do not. So, what did all that knowledge about emotions do for her when she was diagnosed in 2006 with breast cancer? It gave her a chance to put a very human, sometimes touching, sometimes powerful, sometimes hilarious face to the disease.

I must admit that sometimes her blog is less than polite (www.suzannewhang.com) and she’s been know to use an expletive or ten, but one of the posts I read struck me hard. Her advice to those of us without cancer? Don’t give her advice about how to live with the disease. You know what? That’s great advice. If you’re a cancer caregiver, file that in your memory box. The next time your loved one snaps at you, ask yourself if you’ve strayed over that line. If you have, apologize. All the world’s best intentions are not enough to get you out of that hot water.

Which raises another important subject — are you claiming your loved one’s cancer as your own? It’s such a common mistake for cancer caregivers. It’s hard not to get caught up in the cancer frenzy when it happens to someone you love. Let’s face it. That cancer is going to change your life, too. It’s easy to think you have a vested interest in the outcome. But you always need to remember that the body with the cancer is not yours. Your job is to provide comfort and care. Your role is to support. Your purpose is to be the help mate for the person with the cancer, so that he or she can survive cancer treatment and the disease as best as possible.

People with cancer often go through enormous emotional struggles as they manage their disease. It’s not always a pretty experience, filled with pink ribbons and happy, smiling faces. Cancer is a teeth-grinding, fist-clenching experience. It’s rarely predictable in all its aspects, and that means things can turn from bad to worse or from bad to good with little notice. Uncertainty reigns in the world of cancer, and people do the best they can with what they’ve got. It’s very stressful.

Having a good cancer caregiver can help to relieve some of the stress of being a cancer survivor, but you will never be the savior of your loved one. You are on a journey together, facing a great unknown in a landscape full of darkness and light and everything in between. Err on the side of love. Be there, even when your own heart is breaking. Don’t stop living with a loved one who has cancer. Kick cancer to the curb every once in a while. Think about something else as you force yourself to walk on the sunny side of the street. Think about life, laughter, and love. Feed the heart and soul with real nourishment — starve the disease of the power to rule the roost.

For more help with your cancer caregiving, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides

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cancer treatment caregiver caregiver education Dr. Robert D.Siegel Dr. Robert J. Dowsett Helen and Harry Gray Cancer Center

Where You’re Treated Matters — Helen and Harry Gray Cancer Center

I’ve heard horror stories from cancer patients and their caregivers about their experiences with cancer treatment in various hospitals and medical centers. From people being shuffled off into solitary confinement for the lonely hours of intravenous drips to a serious lack of communication on the part of medical staff with such relevant information as a loved one’s terminal condition, the list of complaints is often long and scary.

That was not my mother’s case when she was treated by the Helen and Harry Gray Cancer Center and I can prove it. After more than two years, I can still tell you a little something about the people who cared for her. That’s because they were memorable for the compassion and kindness they showed my mother throughout her treatment.

What can I tell you about Dr. Dowsett? Behind his serious demeanor lurked a good sense of humor, and sometimes he would make a wry, unexpected comment that had us laughing. He always sported a really spiffy tie, thanks to his bargain-hunting wife, also a physician. My mother loved that he appreciated his wife’s efforts to make him a “GQ” guy. If I asked about a new kind of treatment in the news, he would explain what was and wasn’t appropriate in my mother’s case. That may not sound like a big deal, but it demonstrated to me that he was up-to-date in his knowledge of advances in radiation practices for cancer treatment. That instills confidence in the patient and family.

My mother adored Shelley, the radiation nurse who checked her in on each visit to radiology. “You remind me of Meryl Streep!” she would say as Shelley took her vital signs. With a calm, patient manner, Shelley would smile sweetly, never mentioning that she was much, much younger than the Oscar-winning actress. Never rushing my mother, always supportive, Shelley was a reassuring presence during exams.

Diane was the nurse who would always stop by to say hi while we were waiting in the radiology lounge. Cheerful, approachable, she always wanted feedback on what was working and what wasn’t working. This genuine interest in helping us get my mother through cancer treatment counted for a lot. Diane, like my mother, loved good movies, and she introduced us to the joys (and convenience)of Netflix. When my mother was too ill to go out, we signed up for Netflix and she had the chance to see some really good movies.

Carl and the other “kids” in the radiology meant a lot to my mother. That’s because they always treated her with affectionate respect. Carl used to surprise my mother when he spotted her waiting for her chemotherapy. He would sneak up, appearing at my mother’s side to offer a big, friendly greeting. She was thrilled for him when Carl graduated from school and was hired as a full-time radiation tech.

Anne, the nutrition expert, was literally a life-saver. As a lot of cancer patients do, my mother lost too much weight before we were able to reverse the trend. Anne sat with us in her office, explaining how to feed a cancer patient who also happened to have diabetes. With a hearty laugh and a quick wit, she offered encouragement and sage advice, and she helped us understand my mother’s frustration with the need to eat and lack of appetite, offering positive solutions to get her back on track.

With a radiant smile and twinkling eyes, Denise was one of the kindest, gentlest people in the oncology department, which was good, because she was the one taking blood samples. I remember her as “the hugger”, who would wrap her arms around my mother and tell her how happy she was to see her again. My mother looked forward to seeing her on visits to the hospital and to receiving that hug.

Karen was my mother’s oncology nurse, always sashaying in and out of the treatment room with the patience of a saint, no feathers ruffled even on the most hectic of days. What I liked about Karen was that I could call her with a question and she would get back to me with the answer. She was always good at sharing tips about managing the side effects of the cancer drugs my mother was receiving, clearing up any confusion and helping us to know what to expect.

When Karen had a day off, Donna would often fill in, dispensing my mother’s chemotherapy drugs. A very experienced nurse, she was always available if there was a problem. I ran into her at the grocery store after my mother passed away and I felt compelled to thank her for all of the wonderful treatment she and the others provided. They made chemotherapy bearable for her.

Marcia? Oh, full of life and passionate! On her stark white lab coat, she used to add her own whimsical touches, like big, colorful buttons. Marcia, as a nurse practitioner, was the one who explained things about over-the-counter medications interfering with the chemotherapy. If one pain reliever didn’t work well enough or was dangerous on certain treatment days, she had no qualms about prescribing another. Comfort was paramount. Marcia was a problem-solver who liked things to go right for patients, so she often went out of her way to make good things happen.

Dr. Bob’s office was like a whimsical version of what a doctor’s office would look like on the Cartoon Network, and I think it defined him not only as a doctor, but also as a human being. There were illustrations done by his young patients taped up to the walls, along with a Sponge Bob Square Pants figure. The jungle-print drapes, solar-powered pith helmet, and photograph of him jogging in Africa amongst a herd of elephants were all part of a decorating blitz by Marcia and a few others in the department to celebrate Dr. Bob’s vacation in Africa. You’ve got to love a guy who does such serious work and surrounds himself with very “unserious” stuff. Dr. Bob was a straight-shooter as an oncologist. He was big on quality of life, something my mother really appreciated. Dr. Bob always treated her with respect, making it clear that it was her decision on when to say enough was enough. It made it easier for me, when her health had seriously deteriorated, to ask her if she felt she was ready to go into hospice care. As a result, we got a lot done in her final weeks, tackling the things that mattered most to her and fulfilling her wishes.

I could go on and talk about the valet parking attendants, who always hustled to get the car back as quickly as possible. My mother loved the greeter at the front desk and even the “gift shop lady”. I appreciated Dr. Dowsett’s and Dr. Bob’s schedulers. They offered appointments that fit my mother’s physical limitations and need to rest.

Does the Helen and Harry Gray Cancer Center sound to you like a scary, cold, or unfeeling place to go if you have cancer or like a patient-focused medical facility where the staff is welcoming and warm? A cancer treatment center is always more than just a single doctor or nurse. It takes many people to get the job done. With a disease like this, especially if the cancer is manageable, you and your loved one are likely to spend a great deal of time there. All the more reason to make quality of life and treatment a priority by picking a good cancer center.

For more help as a caregiver, visit:
The Practical Caregiver Guides

For a free copy of my ebook in popular formats, visit:
The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love

You can also find my free caregiver guides at Barnes and Noble, Sony, Kobo, Diesel, Baker and Taylor, as well as Smashwords.

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caregiver caregiver education children's activities hospitalized children The Practical Caregiver's Guide to Amusing Sick Kids

How Do You Amuse a Sick Child?

One of the things I learned long ago is that it is difficult to keep a hospitalized child engaged and amused over time. Very often kids with serious illnesses, diseases, and disorders wind up spending long days lying in bed, in between tests, examinations, and treatments. It can be even harder when kids come home from the hospital. What are parents to do?

I just published my latest free ebook, “The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Amusing Sick Kids”. There are tips, advice, ideas, and games galore. Whether you need a quick game to play while you wait for the doctor to arrive or you want to do some bonding with your child, this is your go-to guide for keeping your sanity. Download it for free in the format of your choosing:
“The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Amusing Sick Kids”

If you’re a health care or home care provider, you should know that The Practical Caregiver Guides are not affiliated with any health care agency or service provider. They were written out of my passion for caregiving and the need to provide useful education that is accessible to all. That means that these guides are also available to agencies and service providers who want to help families provide better care. Just pass along the Practical Caregiver link to a family in need. Help them to work with you to keep their loved ones healthier and happier.

If you need more help with family caregiving, visit:
The Practical Caregiver Guides
For a free copy of “The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love”, visit my Smashwords page:
“The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Cancer Care”

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cancer cancer retreat caregiver caregiver education Stowe Stowe Weekend of Hope Vermont

SAVE THE DATE — 12TH ANNUAL STOWE WEEKEND OF HOPE IS COMING UP!

If you or a loved one has been touched by cancer, you may be interested in the 12th Annual Stowe Weekend of Hope. It’s a big, happy festival of people who have or have survived cancer and the families who love them. Save the date, because it’s coming up May 4-6, 2012:
http://www.stowehope.org/

Why am I telling you about this event? Because I think having the chance to rub elbows with fellow survivors, to have access to fun, education, and Vermont can be a healthy thing.

What can you expect from the Stowe Weekend of Hope? First-time cancer attendees receive complimentary accommodations. There are discounts for returning participants. Throughout the weekend, you can choose from more than 40 medical and supportive care seminars presented by renown New England physicians and practitioners; wellness and creativity sessions; intensive workshops by cancer type; an  inspirational ecumenical candlelight service; and opening and closing ceremonies.

Best part? The setting. In the winter season, Stowe is a beehive of activities. It offers fine food, shopping, and recreational activities in a charming mountain village setting. That’s great if you’re a snow bunny and you’re swooshing down the hills like Hannah Kearney. But Vermont isn’t just for skiers. My favorite times in Vermont were had during the warmer months. There is something wonderful in those verdant hills. You can enjoy the fresh air and the many wonderful opportunities to hike, to walk, or just to sit and kick back in a place where the people are hard-working, friendly, and down-to-earth.

There are organized events throughout the weekend, including a dance party with the Ross Livermore Band, a “lantern tour” of Stowe, complete with ghost stories, and even a marathon. You’ll find yourself going to events all over the village, and you’ll have the chance to try out the best of Stowe’s restaurants on your “free time”. You can wander the streets in search of that perfect bite. How delicious is that?

You may even want to extend your visit in Stowe to take in some of the many other fun activities that abound in the Green Mountain State. There is the Farm at Morrison’s Corner, the Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream Factory (Ice cream? Count me in!), Gregg Hill Gardens, and the West Branch Gallery and Sculpture Park. You can go hiking in one of the nearby state parks, play some golf, do some fly fishing, even work out on a bungee trampoline. There’s also the Cabot Creamery Cooperative, which makes award-winning cheeses, Greek yogurt, and other dairy products in nearby Cabot, Vermont (Greek yogurt is often recommended as a great food for cancer patients — full of protein, easy to digest, and packing good, healthy calories).

Vermont is the quintessential family-friendly place to be. You and your kids can find adventures and educational opportunities at every energy level, even when there are serious restrictions due to health issues. Maybe that’s why the Stowe Weekend of Hope is such a great opportunity for cancer survivors and their families. You will be among friends, people who understand and support the challenges cancer presents. It’s like a big hug for your soul.

If you would like more help with your cancer caregiving, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides:
www.practicalcaregiverguides.com

If you would like a free copy of “The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love” in popular ebook formats, visit my Smashwords page:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/110999

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cancer cancer management cancer treatment caregiver caregiver education Caris Life Sciences early diagnosis mycancer.com oncologist oncology radiology

CARIS’S CANCER TECHNOLOGIES PERSONALIZE TREATMENT

One of the most impressive women I ever met when my mother was undergoing cancer treatment was a lady who had survived two decades with the disease. How did she do it? She paid attention to her body. She got to the point where she could tell when the cancer was spreading or returning. She went in search of cancer treatment. She was not content to just accept it as her fate in life. Her husband was a supportive partner as she endured, managed, and directed her own cancer care. Why does this matter? I learned a lot from her that day as we talked in the chemotherapy room. She knew life is precious, that we are here to live life and to love. One moment in time can change a life for the better or for the worse. When we hesitate, when we accept the status quo without question, we are victims of our fate. When we accept the opportunity to learn what we can about cancer, when we begin to embrace the opportunities provided by emerging technologies, we help our loved ones to manage the disease better. Don’t close your eyes and look away because your loved one has cancer. Be proactive. Become aware of what’s available and what it can do for you and your loved one.

I’m a big believer in using technology to attack cancer and knock it out of the loop. Caris Life Sciences has a new program for cancer patients that enables better, smarter treatment:

http://www.mycancer.com/biopsy

Caris even has a checklist of questions to ask the oncologist, so that you and your love one better understand the type of cancer and the options for treatments. The idea is to individualize the cancer in order to provide the best treatment for the specific situation.

Anyone who has ever had cancer or cared for someone with cancer knows that it can be tough to withstand the rigors of treatment. Sometimes that’s harder than the cancer itself. With a more personalized treatment plan, unnecessary guesswork goes out the window. Cancer treatment is no longer “one-size-fits-all”. When oncologists and hematologists can see markers in blood that indicate cancer long before it shows up on a scan, that’s a head start on cutting cancer off at the pass. The sooner you know, the sooner you or your loved one can be treated. That means less treatment because it’s more effective at catching the cancer earlier.

One of the hardest things for cancer patients is to hope when things look bad. If your loved one has late stage cancer, you might be tempted to give up and give in. Would it help you to know that a new study showed that even late-stage cancer patients increased their survival rate by almost 30% using molecular profiling? That means that 3 out of 10 late-stage cancer patients thrived by using this technology. Three more people now live who would have died without the technology.

Any good cancer caregiver knows that working with a loved one’s radiology, oncology, and surgical team is imperative in keeping him or her healthier. It’s always important to be able to discuss the cancer and the options, because the better you and your loved one understand cancer, the better you and your loved one can manage the disease. And the better the cancer is managed, the better life will be for the whole family.

For more help with cancer caregiving, visit The Practical Caregiver Guides:
www.practicalcaregiverguides.com

For a free copy of “The Practical Caregiver’s Guide to Cancer Care: How to Help Someone You Love” in popular ebook formats, visit my Smashwords page:
http://www.smashwords.com/books/view/110999

Categories
cancer cancer advice cancer treatment caregiver caregiver education Kathy McGonigal oncology

INTERVIEW: KATHY MCGONIGAL, ONCOLOGY NURSE

In honor of National Family Caregiver Month, I’ve invited Kathy McGonigal, an oncology-certified nurse with almost 20 years of experience to answer some questions. My goal is to help cancer caregivers do a better job of helping their loved ones manage the disease as much as is possible.

 Sara:
 Hi, Kathy. I’m so glad you could join us. I really value your experience as an oncology nurse.  Let me ask you this. If you could give one piece of advice to caregivers at the start of treatment for their loved ones, what would that be?

 Kathy:
 It’s hard to give just one but I would say take care of “you”. This is the most difficult for the caregiver to understand. They feel like they have to be everything to their loved one all the time. Let others help you. Admit when you are overwhelmed. Taking a break is important. Eat healthy and get a lot of rest.

Sara:
So, so true. It really is critical that we take care of ourselves, so we can be there for the people we love. What the most common mistake you’ve seen caregivers make in taking care of loved ones with cancer? Is there more than one way to overcome this?

Kathy:
When patients hear the word cancer, everything changes. Most patients want to talk about their fears. Listen. Really listen. Instead of the usual “Don’t talk like that” or “Everything will be fine”, it is important to acknowledge their fears. It is also okay for you to tell them you are afraid too. Once words are spoken out loud, some of the fear disappears.

Sara:
I think listening is probably the best tool a caregiver can have in the caregiver tool box. It helps you to recognize when there’s a serious problem and to get the right help from your cancer treatment team. And a caregiver who is a good listener makes a cancer patient feel much more connected. It’s scary enough to hear the word, “cancer”, so knowing you have good support can make it all a little less lonely. How important is it for cancer families to understand the type of cancer their loved ones have and to understand the treatment that’s being given? Does it make a difference?

Kathy:
Families who understand the disease their loved one is suffering from is very important. You will be getting a lot of advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. Not all cancer is created equal. Knowing what you are dealing with allows you to help make educated decisions and make reachable goals. The more educated you are, the less afraid you are.

Sara:
I think that’s really true about getting advice from other cancer survivors and caregivers. I met some amazing people during my mom’s treatments, and having the chance to talk to them about their experiences really helped me to do a better job in caring for my mom. One issue that seems to come up a lot with cancer patients is eating. Nutrition is often an important element in helping cancer patients get through the rigors of treatment. Do you have a good tip for feeding a reluctant patient?

Kathy:
Eating is important but it can also be a source of frustration between caregivers and patients. Feeding an illness is something we have all learned from our mothers. The patient knows how important it is to eat but it is not always possible. Think about how you feel when you are ill before you try and “force” your loved one to eat. Let the patient go. Make sure there are a lot of simple nutrient rich foods on hand. Cook simple so the smells are not overwhelming.  Don’t make the patient feel like you are monitoring everything they eat or not eat. It will cause too much anxiety. The patient will eat when they can. Leave it up to the doctors and nurses to address nutrition.

Sara:
Ah, what could be more annoying than the Food Police? How true. That’s a good point, too, about the cooking smells, especially if your loved one doesn’t already feel well. Reaching out to the medical team for help is good, solid advice, Kathy. As an experienced oncology nurse, you’re working on the front lines and I’m sure you’ve seen a lot over the years. Dealing with cancer can be stressful on a daily basis. A lot of cancer caregivers become overwhelmed. Do you have your own favorite ways of dealing with stress when you’ve had a tough week at work?

Kathy:
Wow, that’s a hard one and it is sometimes very difficult. I try to apply everything I learn from my patients into my personal life. I try to take nothing for granted. No matter how long you live, it is always not long enough. As stressful as my job can be, I have been privileged and honored to be invited into the lives of my patients at what might be the most vulnerable time of life. They have all enriched my life in ways most people do not get to experience. It is amazing to watch the human spirit take over. If you are a caregiver, you too will learn that while the patient says they couldn’t get through it without you, you will be the one who gets the biggest gift of all. You make it possible for your loved one to fight.

Sara:
What a great point to make to caregivers. I’ve seen that time and time again. Caregivers are the wind beneath a loved one’s wings and yet we’re the ones who benefit when we really make an effort to give the right kind of support for those we love. It changes lives, especially our own. Thank you so much, Kathy, for sharing your insight and wisdom. I know caregivers will be inspired by your words.

Contact:
Kathy McGonigal
kathymcgonigal@gmail.com

Categories
cancer cancer management cancer treatment caregiver caregiver education GE Healthcare Is My Cancer Different

LAUNCHING “IS MY CANCER DIFFERENT” — CAN IT HELP YOU?

I’m a big believer in managing cancer by proactive effort. The more caregivers and cancer patients ask for information, the more they learn about it, the better the result. I’ve talked to a lot of people over the years and I am always surprised when I find out how many missed opportunities there are. Whether I am talking to a cancer widow who had no inkling that her husband’s cancer situation was so dire, or a new caregiver who doesn’t realize how important nutrition is for cancer survival, it strikes me that cancer education is critical to cancer management.

Sometimes the biggest obstacle for cancer patients and their families is that they are afraid to learn the truth. They hold back and hold it in, terrified to ask. Don’t be afraid to dip your big toe into the water. Don’t be afraid to get wet. Get yourself into the ocean of information about cancer. Learn to swim. The more you know about cancer, the better the outcome. Every cancer is different, just as every patient is different. It’s not a one-size-fits-all situation, so being able to target the kind of cancer, the stage it’s at, and the overall health of the individual patient means a better chance to manage the cancer. Generic cancer treatment often means the side effects overwhelm the patient, creating more problems than are solved. An individualized treatment plan takes into account the actual needs of the patient and works to insure that his or her health is better preserved. When an oncologist really seeks to understand a patient’s specific cancer situation, the outcome will be improved.

GE Healthcare just launched a new health initiative designed to help cancer patients ask, “Is my cancer different?” Why is this question so critical? Not every cancer responds to normal cancer protocols of treatment. Not every cancer patient does well with every cancer drug. Molecular level diagnostics can make a difference in outcome. This allows the oncologist to individualize the cancer treatment. The goal is to utilize molecular level diagnostics to better fit individual needs.

As a cancer caregiver, one of the most important jobs you have is to understand that the right treatment can make all the difference in the world. You want your loved one to have a fighting chance. The smarter the fight, the better the outcome. Sometimes surviving that extra day in better shape allows a cancer patient a window of opportunity to move forward towards a cure. With cancer, there are never any guarantees, but you can and you should always advocate for the best treatment available for your loved one’s cancer.

What does “Is My Cancer Different?” offer? This is a cancer education website. You can see patient-friendly informational videos. You can learn about new developments in cancer treatments. You can begin to understand that the better managed cancer is, the longer your loved one can not only live with cancer, but thrive. More birthdays, more joy, more laughter, more adventures, more life.

If you would like more information on “Is My Cancer Different?”, check out their link:
http://www.IsMyCancerDifferent.com/