As a long-time caregiver (10 years for my mother and 5 years for my father), I know a lot about being unable to leave home, to come and go as I please, especially during challenging times. It can be extremely stressful.
In the last two months, I have also been laid up after surgery and unable to drive, go grocery shopping, or take a walk. I know the frustration of being cut off from what I enjoy doing. With only one arm functional, I’ve had to make a lot of adjustments in order to survive and thrive under these conditions.
It’s important to find ways to get through the challenges that keep us from our “normal” lives and manage the increased stress that comes with them. So, here are my best five tips for surviving tough times like these:
1. Keep to a regular routine/schedule:
It may sound silly but having a routine or schedule will help you get through the day more easily because it makes your time more predictable. Rise and shine at the same time every day. Keep your usual bedtime routine. Eat regular meals. Organize your “to do” priorities according to your needs and the needs of the people around you. Treat this time of crisis like it is a challenge you will master. Take it seriously and look for opportunities to move in positive directions. Don’t forget to give yourself breaks throughout the day, just like you would have if you were at work. The important thing is to be proactive in navigating yourself through the pandemic in ways that make you stronger and more confident.
2. Choose your weekly goals and work at accomplishing them every day, as time allows:
The crisis isn’t ending tomorrow. It will take weeks, if not months, to resolve. You are more likely to manage your time and energy effectively by being productive in the interim. Sure, you aren’t in your normal work surroundings, but that doesn’t mean you should lounge around and binge-watch episodes of “Married with Children” in your underwear until the pandemic is over. Use the time wisely to get a head-start on projects you have long thought about doing, but never did. Stay busy with things that matter to you, even while you are holed up. Thinking of renovating the bathroom? Do some research on current style trends, price out options, or even compile a list of local contractors. Planning a trip to France in the future? Brush up on your French with Babbel classes online and get suggestions of what to see and where to go from travel sites and blogs. Have you put off tackling that closet of yours because you always have “other” priorities? Open that door and dig into that black hole. Sort the items into piles. Donate what you don’t wear and organize the items you want to keep. The important thing is to make yourself feel like you did something useful at the end of every day.
3. When you do get out and about, take advantage of the opportunity to renew yourself:
On those rare opportunities that you venture out into the world, be safe, but also be mindful of your surroundings. Look at the world through fresh eyes and remind yourself every time you leave the house that this is a temporary situation. You won’t always be stuck at home. At some point, the crisis will end, and you will get back to your ordinary life again. In the meantime, appreciate the small things that you notice. Make eye contact with people, even as you keep your distance. Smile, nod, interact from a safe distance. The seasons are changing, so take all the glorious sights in. Look for beauty, for joy, for kindness, for goodness everywhere you go. The important thing is to remind yourself that you are still a part of the big world and once the virus has been contained, you will be back out there.
4. Get regular exercise
One of the best stress relievers I know is regular exercise. I have always made exercise a part of my daily life, but whenever I am facing difficult challenges that create extra stress for me, it’s even more important. When I was providing hospice care to my mother, I burned off a lot of stress with heavy workouts. I continually challenged myself to keep going with different exercise routines. Now I am busy with physical therapy exercises every day, to regain my mobility and function, so I can get back to my healthy self. I set aside that time because it makes me feel like I have some control over my life, even if I can’t do everything I want to do for several more months. Get in touch with your body’s need to stretch, to move, to feel alive. Let your mind wander as you work up a sweat. Exercise helps clear the head and brings us better clarity and focus. Regular exercise can tamp back some of that depression, panic, or fear you are feeling during these uncertain times. When those endorphins kick in, your mood is likely to improve. Hate to work out alone? Challenge family and friends to physical contests. Take an online exercise class. Line dance with your kids or grandkids. The important thing is to “just do it”.
5. Reward yourself for your perseverance and determination:
Treat yourself with respect during this difficult time, by recognizing that there are ways you can and should make a difference. You have control over certain aspects of your life while you are stuck at home, keeping your social distance. Use them to your advantage to survive this. What can you learn from this crisis that will make you stronger, wiser, kinder, smarter? How can you and your family adapt to these challenges in positive ways? This crisis didn’t suddenly emerge in a single moment on one day. It took its time getting started and it will take its time ending. Think about what you will do when the pandemic begins to wind down. What are those first steps on the road back to ordinary days? The important thing is to recognize that your efforts to get through this crisis are a reflection of you as a human being, so go ahead and make yourself proud by doing well.