Todd McGovern died at home on January 29, 2013. I read the obituary in the New York Times and found the story very inspirational. I want to share it with you because I think it will encourage you and your loved one to be as involved in life as he was as he battled cancer. He outlasted his diagnosis by several years. He fought the good fight, as so many cancer patients do. But what he left behind, what goes on in his absence, is his legacy.
Todd was just thirty, married for all of two months, when he received his terminal cancer diagnosis. Imagine that blow. Here you are, starting out your new life with your new wife. The world is your oyster. You have just about all of your adult life ahead of you. You imagine growing old with the woman you love. You’re planning your future together. And then this has to happen.
Todd didn’t take it lying down. He fought back. He made decisions about what he, not the cancer, was going to do for him. I have little doubt that it was not an easy struggle. Anyone who’s been around a cancer treatment center knows what a tough foe cancer can be.
But this young man, still so full of promise, was determined to impact the trajectory of his life. He was not willing to surrender himself to the despair of the disease. Todd wanted to live life to the fullest.
Sometimes ordinary people become extraordinary through circumstances not of their own making. They reach deep inside and they pull out that rabbit from life’s hat. Todd was such a young man.
But Todd had a partner, a supporter like no other. Amanda was surely a big part of that whole enterprise. She started Seas IT, a cancer recreation program to help them stay focused and positive throughout Todd’s cancer treatment and management. She understood the beauty of the great outdoors, with all of its restorative energy. She understood that being involved and passionate about your life was a key to living, not just existing.
I get that. When I was pushed to the edge as a caregiver, especially during my mother’s declining days, hiking was my one real pleasure. Every time I discovered a new trail, I was reconnecting to life. Every time I took a break from my mother’s cancer, I was renewing my spirit in the sights, the sounds, and the pleasures of nature. I would come home and face my caregiver duties with a determination to start fresh. I left the house weighed down by my responsibilities and I returned refreshed. That’s what recreation is all about, whether it’s running a marathon, enjoying a play, or visiting a museum.
I recall lugging my mother’s medical equipment through more than one art exhibit, pushing her wheelchair. Nothing made her feel more human again that visiting an art museum. We made our way through the centuries in three very different bastions of art history. And every time we returned home, my mother was satisfied that her disease had not gotten the better of her. It had not kept her from the things she loved most.
Recreation is that respite time we save for ourselves, for our wounded spirits and our challenged bodies. It’s that time we throw ourselves into what makes us most happy because it helps us to be true to our souls. For some, it’s running. For others, it’s fishing, knitting, or maybe even finally getting around to taking those piano lessons you always wanted to have, but never got around to doing. Recreation is all about you, not your disease. It’s about working on your putt instead of fretting how long your bone cancer will take to kill you. It’s about throwing that clay onto your potter’s wheel and creating a masterpiece.
It’s about doing, not just dreaming. It’s about getting off that recliner and getting back out into the world, where you belong. It’s about shutting off that little voice in your head that says you should just raise the white flag and be done with it. It’s about shaking off the terror of having cancer and living your best life inspite of it. Todd had cancer, but Todd also had life and a woman who loved him. That’s a very powerful force that creates positive energy, that extends life even against the odds.
So often cancer patients find their lives limited by the rigors of treatment. They spend their lives going back and forth to the hospital, getting scanned, getting chemo and/or radiation. That’s really when a lot of people begin to give up. If all you see is your bed and your doctor, the message you receive is that life as you knew it is over.
Todd and Amanda McGovern saw past that limitation. They knew they needed more. They knew other cancer patients needed more. Seas IT is all about staying as active as is possible during cancer management. It’s about using recreation to keep spirits up, to keep hearts open, to keep hope alive.
Todd lived long enough to see his twin sons born last June. He lived long enough to pass along his passion for recreation to those cancer patients who walk in his footsteps, who come up behind him. He lived long enough to share with us a very important secret for cancer patients. The more normal your life is with cancer, the better you will survive it.
Why is this important? Any cancer patient can tell you that in each new day that dawns, the promise of a cure hides within the heart. That promise wasn’t there unendingly for Todd. His life ended too soon when his time ran out. But because he and Amanda shared their secret about the pleasures and the power of recreation, they may have saved countless other lives, not by Todd’s dying, but by his way of living. In surviving so long with his terminal cancer, Todd showed us that the individual has some personal power to overcome even the toughest of foes. Couple that with new cancer research and new medicines, and that is how a cure is discovered. One small step at a time will lead us to the end of this insidious disease.
Even as his small sons begin to find their way in this world, their father’s legacy will live on. As they grow, as they thrive, let them be inspired by a man who wasn’t willing or able to surrender to his cancer. He rose above it and was made better by it. He became an inspiration and a teacher, whose lessons live on now in Seas IT.
If you would like to know more about the organization Amanda and Todd McGovern created, follow this link: