Categories
cancer cancer caregiver community support

Dogs, Cancer, and Caregiving

 

It was just happenstance. I set out to put together a bibliography for readers of cozy mysteries (think Agatha Christie) that feature dogs. I did my research over two days’ time, searching various sources to come up with a respectable list of canine characters in fiction. Once I had all my information in order, I posted it to my cozy mystery library site. And that’s when it happened. Someone threw me a curve ball.

It came in the form of a request from an author of dog mysteries. She wanted me to include Susan J. Kroupa’s Doodlebugged Mysteries on my bibliography. It sounded great until I checked out the books and saw they were listed as kiddie lit. I was doing an adult bibliography. How could I diplomatically navigate this conundrum without offending anyone? I decided my best bet was to do some research. Maybe I could start a “junior cozy mystery” list. Or I could come up with a respectful reason why I couldn’t include it. I had to try to find a reasonable solution.

The funny thing was that I found a lot of adults loved the series and thought the books were well-written and amusing, with enough adult elements to make them work as cozies. They also thought the books were fun to share with kids and grandkids. But what does this have to do with cancer?

My research wasn’t done yet. In addition to providing a list of books, I also like to help readers connect to authors whose books they may enjoy reading. That meant I had to find Susan’s website. I flipped through a couple of her pages, looking at her books and bio. We had some things in common. We were both librarians at one point in our lives. We’re writers, nature lovers, and dog fanatics. Then I clicked on her blog. And that’s when I found it:

What Love Looks Like — Susan J. Kroupa

I saw that photograph of her daughter, Sarah, holding a baby. Sweet-faced. Mother of five. Colon cancer stole her away just before Christmas.

My heart sank because it’s a story I know too well. I still remember Michelle and her extraordinary battle to defeat the monster that is colon cancer. I still remember my amazing cancer friend’s effort to pour as much living into her last year of life as was humanly possible. There were so many trips, so many photographs, so many things Michelle did with her family to remind them of her unending love before she left them. Here was another young mother with another amazing family.

But when Susan wrote about her daughter’s battle with cancer and eventual death, she didn’t write about the sorrow. She wrote about the love that their community shared with the whole family. She wrote about how people came together to support them in ways that I wish every cancer family could have. It’s a wonderful testament to what we can and should do for those in our circles who are in need.

So I am sharing Susan’s link with you now, not because she wrote extensively about what to do and how to do it, but because she managed, in a very short piece, to capture the spirit of generosity that really is the face of love. This is real giving at the heart level. People got it right at the right time. They stepped up to the plate. If we could bottle this and sell it, it would be a tonic that could soothe the most discomforted soul. It will never take away the pain of losing a daughter so young, but it obviously made a difficult and challenging time less so. This is inspiration for every cancer family. Don’t give up, reach out. Ask for the right kind of help for your family, for yourself. Know what you can and can’t do realistically and don’t be afraid to say you need more help. Susan can tell you what happens when you recognize that need and people respond.

You never really know what lies beneath the cover of a book until you open it and read. Everyone has a story. I’m glad I was curious enough to learn more about an author and I’m glad to share this with you. Maybe someone else’s life will be made better by the story of Susan’s daughter because readers like you will see the possibilities and act. Don’t be afraid to be the love.