Wouldn’t it be fun for cancer families to get together for a long summer weekend and have a cancer caravan? Whether it’s heading to the mountains for a camp-out or to the lake to board a houseboat flotilla, getting together with other people who understand what your loved one is going through can be very comforting.
How would you go about setting something like this up? First, you’d have to pick a location that has access to good emergency medicine. It’s always smart to be prepared, “just in case….” You never know when something might happen, be it an infection or a cut. If you know you’ll be able to get to a medical center within a reasonable amount of time, you’ll be able to relax and enjoy the trip more, won’t you? Take New Hampshire, for example. Lots of wonderful mountains and lakes, not to mention Dartmouth Hitchcock Medical Center. That makes it a good choice for a cancer caravan. If you coordinate with your loved one’s cancer team before you go, you can feel fairly confident that your loved one will get quality treatment, if needed, while on vacation. Know what the procedure is before you go. Does the cancer center want you to call in first, so they can directly contact the medical center, or do they want you to provide the treating physician with the cancer team contact? Get that straight and you’ll be able to kick back.
Why go with a group of other cancer patients? There are several good reasons. First, it’s nice to be with people who get what your loved one is going through. With kids who have cancer, it’s freeing to be able to hang out without having to worry about missing your hair or feeling weak. When you’re the only kid at the party with a bald head or forced to stay out of the sun because of chemotherapy and radiation issues, it can be a lonely journey. When there’s a group in the same dire straights, you’re no longer the geek with the Big C. If you have to stay out of the sun, you at least have some good company and the chance to still have fun, whether it’s fishing or playing cards. If there are siblings, it’s nice for them to hang out with other siblings who know the deep, dark cave that is cancer, where life is uncertain and scary. And it’s nice for parents to be able to share the duties with other parents. It starts to form a mini-cancer community, where people work together to give families the fun they need.
But it’s not only children and teens with cancer who can benefit from a cancer caravan. Why not adults? Why not do a “couples weekend” or a “family fiesta” for adult cancer patients and the people who matter to them? You can also “buddy up”. Whether it’s the girls’ weekend away or a fishing trip for the guys, your loved one can bring a buddy to do the heavy lifting. Rent a group of cabins in the woods and gather there with others going through the cancer experience. Imagine your loved one being able to rest on the deck of a houseboat, shaded from the sun, enjoying the gentle breeze, the smell of the pine trees, and the chance to feel like “a normal person” again, even just for a long weekend. It’s important to factor in your loved one’s needs, especially if he or she is still experiencing the side effects of cancer treatment. Are there special nutritional needs? Is a daily nap important?
It doesn’t have to be a big, complicated process to get folks together for a long weekend. Pick a spot, invite folks to come along, and make the necessary arrangements. If you’re nervous about how it will work out, why not start with a day trip? Hold a day-long picnic party at a woodsy park. Invite folks to bring food to share. Get everyone into the spirit of the day. Foster cooperation and consideration. When you’re confident that families are ready to handle a long weekend away, get together and hash out the details.
Cancer support groups could even host trips for their cancer families, with planned activities in a safe outdoor environment, be it lake or mountains. Keep the costs down and the fun quotient up. Lots of activities don’t cost a cent. Gather round the grill or campfire at the end of the day and make some s’mores. Tell some ghost stories, sing songs, share some laughs, play charades. Watch the fireflies flicker in the woods or the shooting stars fall through the night sky above. Do it with people who share the cancer experience and build on that camaraderie. These are the folks who are part of your extended cancer family. They know your pain and you know theirs.
What can cancer patients expect to get out of a cancer caravan? How about the opportunity to see that this disease affects people in similar and dissimilar ways? And how do families benefit? For spouses who are struggling with their loved ones’ cancer, it can be very comforting to hang out with other spouses of people who are managing cancer. For best friends, it’s a chance to remember that friendship is about rising above the challenges. For families, it’s a chance to realize that you are not alone. Cancer changes how families live. There is strength in numbers. Wisdom is often passed along when people get together. And hope grows when people begin to understand what is most important in life. Live each day like it matters, because it does.