I’m going to come right out and admit it. I’m a big believer in reading books with kids. To me, it’s one of life’s sweetest opportunities to bond, and I have long been an advocate. That’s why I want to thank Fox CT’s Sara Cody for sharing “Light One Little Candle”: http://www.ctnow.com/lifestyle/parenting/mommy-minute/hc-mommy-minute-20120305,0,5817847.story
To me, “Light One Little Candle” is the ultimate gift to cancer families. When Joelle Pauporté was being treated for aggressive breast cancer, she read to her 4-year-old daughter not only as an activity they could share on days when Joelle had little energy and stamina in reserve, but as a way of building memories between a dying mother and a child who would need to remember the amazing woman who loved her. Dr. Pauporté was a psychiatrist by training and a loving mother by nature. She wanted to build a library for her daughter that could be treasured long after her death.
Joelle got started on her dream of “Light One Little Candle”. The goal was to make new books available to cancer families at cancer centers, books that could be lovingly inscribed. Her circle of friends and family have continued this program since her passing in 2005 at the age of 36. Currently, there are 14 cancer centers in CA, CT, ME, MD, MA, NJ, NY, and UT. Fourteen? That hardly seems like enough.
One of the saddest experiences I had when I was working with children was meeting kids who had never heard a Mother Goose rhyme, never known the beauty of “Good Night, Moon”, never laughed or cried or sighed over a good book while snuggled by a parent. No child should ever grow up without a “good night story”. It’s that last few minutes of the day when we are about to enter Dreamland. It’s important for children to know that they are safe, they are loved and protected from things that go bump in the night.
Reading aloud isn’t just for the younger kids. Learning to listen is an auditory skill that must be practiced as a child learns to process information. Long after the pictures disappear from the page, adults can still read with their kids. It’s a great opportunity to talk about a story, to imagine how it all turns out in the end.
I also know how hard it can be for cancer families to find positive ways to bond when a loved one is going through cancer treatment. Very often, kids get the short end of the stick when a parent, grandparent, or even a sibling is being treated. If you’ve spent any time at a cancer center, you know there’s a lot of sitting around and waiting. There’s a lot of stress and distress. When you need a little relief, reading to a child can be a magical way to relax and release all that tension. Reading is as rewarding an activity for adult as it is for a child. Carving out little moments for reading is good therapy for all. We need to feel close to those we love, even when cancer comes between us. We need the chance to put the disease aside and just be together.
The beauty of books is that they can be a very soothing experience. Sure, you can sit on a sofa and read. But you can also cuddle in bed, shoulder to shoulder, enjoying picture books or chapter books. The imaginary world comes alive with a good book, even through cancer treatment. And it’s okay to invite others to the reading. You can take turns making the pages of a book come alive.
In a loved one’s arms, a child feels safe, protected, and most of all loved. But is it not also true that when we read, when we see those trusting eyes looking up at us, we have purpose in life? We are motivated to do better, to be better when children rely on us. We appreciate the joy they share with us when they are happy. A child’s giggle is contagious. Its pure innocence invites us to put aside the adult world and find our inner kids again, if only for a little while.
I challenge you to start your own chapter of “Light One Little Candle” at your cancer center. So many times, friends and relatives don’t know how to help cancer families. This is a great opportunity to get people in the community involved. It’s a great way to support your local bookstore, too. (But feel free to order online — I don’t really care how you purchase a new book. Just do it.) One book. One new book for a child who needs to build memories. Do it for Joelle, because she had the dream. Do it for your neighbor down the street, who has a rare blood cancer, or for the little girl in your son’s fourth grade class, whose Daddy is battling brain cancer. Do it because you love books. Do it because you survived cancer. Do it in memory of someone you lost to cancer. One book. One child. One family bonding despite cancer’s tight grip. Memories that will last a lifetime.
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A Special Note to Book Lovers: This is “Read an Ebook Week” — March 4-10, 2012
Smashwords, an independent publisher of more than 85,000 ebooks, is currently promoting free and discounted ebooks to celebrate. You can visit the special catalogue and find books to download during this week. Pick a category. Whether you want knitting directions, jokes, romance, or mystery, you can find it here. (A word of caution — if you are a fuddy-duddy like me, put the adult filter on, so you can skip the erotic books….):
http://www.smashwords.com/books/category/1/newest/1
As always, my Practical Caregiver Guides to Cancer, Home Hospice, and Basic Care are available for free at my Smashwords page. I am also an author of fiction. My Practical Caregiver Capers feature caregivers and those they love in “who-dunnits”. My Bodacious Baby Boomer Escapades feature characters who are older, wiser, and not ready for the rocking chair. This week, you can read all of my books for free. Use the coupon for each title and get reading!
http://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/practicalcaregiver
For more help with your cancer caregiving, visit my website:
www.practicalcaregiverguides.com